Sunday, June 27, 2010

My Official Will and Tesament

You just never know when you are going to leave the world. So this is my Last Will and Testament.Everyone has important things in their life and these are the valuables I have that I want those I love to enjoy long after I am gone.

All of my happiness and joy goes to.....Lexi Sanderson(who really needs it)
All of my heart goes to...........................Reese Thomas(Because he stole it)
All of my laughter goes to......................My mother (who doesn't laugh enough)
All of my memories go to.......................Juliana Dunn(because she made most of them)
All of my money goes to.........................Mike Richart(who really needs it)
All of my dreams go to...........................Anya Clutter(because she always believed in mine)
All of my love goes to..............................My father(because he have enough)
All of my poems/songs go to.................Callie Kraft(who needs comfort)
All of my music goes to..........................Elizabeth Gonsauls(because she inspired it)
All of my personal possessions..............Mark & Matt Richart(because I can)
All of my pain..........................................Blake Anderson(because he broke my heart)

If you are one this list you have effected my life in some way..positively or negatively. I hope you all miss me! Because I will miss you all.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Wyoming out the back window

This is how it felt leaving Laramie, Wyoming after being there about three days. Of course, I have been there several times and I have family there. This is how attached I get to places that hold a lot of memories.W
yomin out the back window

Wyoming Out the Back Window

There goes Wyoming out the back window

Still don't know why we have to go

I just want to stay here for forever

We can go back, its now or never

This country is rugged, and oh so pretty

After this trip, I couldn't ever live in the city

So many memories, buried in this ground

It isn't too late, we can still turn around

Its the hardest thing to see, the worst thing to know

Wyoming is disappearing out the back window

Monday, June 14, 2010

Me:The Hardcore Writer

I have been writing since I learned how to hold a pencil. Sometimes I swear I was born with a pen in my hand, because it has been my constant companion since fourth grade. I was never an artist although I like sketching a little and drawing faces and hearts and such. If I see a pen and a clean sheet of paper, all I can think about is filling it with words, and sometimes pictures. There is something beautiful about the way a writer can make a phrase sound just right and make a whole poem flow. Sometimes they paint pictures in your mind as clear as a painter could on a canvas. But a writer can turn that painting to life, make it walk and talk. A picture just sits there, but a poem can tell a story, of adventure and romance. The Mona Lisa can't tell us just how much she was loved, or just how sweet and fair a maiden she was. But Annabell Lee tells us just how much Poe loved his wife when she died of tuberculosis. The poem tells the story of her death and just how much he missed her and wanted to be with her. Its sweet and sad at the same time. Some of Poe's other works could make your blood run cold and give you the chills.

I think you can all see by now that writing is my passion. Right now I write this blog, and I am doing daily articles for about high school drama, and relationships, and I am in the middle of writing a story for as well. So I have been very busy and I could use some feed back about my work. If anyone out there thinks I have any hope of making it someday and wants to see some of my work just let me know. I would greatly appreciate it!

Sunday, June 13, 2010

A Girl in Nebraska Wants to Die...

In times like these you have to ask yourself a question. Out of all the millions of people in the world, why the hell me??? Why was I chosen to live a life I hate? Why must I go on living day after horrible day, just to get kicked in the face once again? No one knows the answer to those questions, and I am no exception. I don't even know why I bother get up in the morning. Well other than the fact that I would be murdered in cold blood if I didn't. It just seems that my life is pointless, and I am worthless. Hey, that sounds familiar, maybe its because I am often referred to as the Worthless kid around my house. This childish name calling game can go on and on forever, all the stupid names I have been called. The one time I will never forget my dad said I was the worst kid he ever raised. Those names sink in and after hearing them for years, you start to believe it. Now when have been well behaved and a "good little girl" now he lashes out at me for something I am not even responsible for. Its not fair. My mom always says life's not fair. There is a fine line between that and going out of your way to make it unfair. So if i shot someone right now and the cops were after me I could say Life's not fair and they would just leave me alone. I don't think so. It's one thing if you want to go outside and play, but your parents wont let you because it is raining and you whine and complain because its not fair. But I have been volunteering to feed my brothers turkeys and take care of them. He never asked me to do it, I am not getting paid, yet I keep getting yelled at because they aren't clean. I have done all the laundry and dishes, kept the house clean, made supper every night, and picked and froze strawberries, beside taking care of the turkeys. This isn't fair he can't treat me like a slave, I am his daughter. Am I that pathetic to just be used? Am I so worthless that I have to be made a servant. I know my father is ashamed of me, because I am not good enough for him, but does he have to yell in my face. Somedays I just want to die. I could cry, and yell my story to the whole world and no one would even care. I bet every single person who reads this (if anyone does) wont respond. Because no one even cares, they dont know me, Who does? Oh no girl in Nebraska wants to die, Oh well. let her.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

An Excerpt From An Everyday Nightmare

This is from my notebook, from homecoming day last fall. This kind of day used to happen once or twice a week. This is the everyday, ordinary me when I fight with my friends. I hate being this way and I hope sophomore year is better. I don't think I can go through another year of this...

Here I sit, another typical day, wasting paper on my own foolish thoughts. I just betrayed one friend and I'm avoiding two others. You have no idea how low I feel right now. I want so bad to go home, go back to bed and slide under the covers, and hide from the world. It may be homecoming but I feel lousy. At least I get out of school somewhat early. If only I could hide somewhere and just cry. But I could never cry in public. My whole world is fading and I try to keep it alive, but I just cant fight it anymore. I don't want to live, but I'm too scared to die. I'm lost between the two. I must sum up because in five minutes I'll be meeting a watered-down, earth-version of hell. God save me from my own stupidity.

I think it speaks for itself, and I don't want my summer or the rest of my life to be this way. I want to step out of this hole in my life and walk away a brand new person. I want to be the girl guys want to be around, not because I am slutty, but because I am nice and I make them laugh. I want to be the girl that people want to be friends with not because I am popular, but because I am honest, true and loyal. But I ask myself is this possible? Can I change now and be that different person?

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

A Tribute to Sam

Sam is in the kitchen, sleeping on the floor
Any minute now, Sam may be no more
Sam is very sick, he barely speaks a word
For you see, my Sam is a little baby bird
He's a turkey to exact, he's the oddest little fellow
You can never enter the room without him cheeping a "hello"
He was born crippled, he may never walk
But the poor little guy sure knows how to talk
He is fuzzy and sweet and would never hurt a fly
But we can't get him to eat and I am afraid he's going to die
They say he doesn't have a chance, he never will survive
But I would do anything to keep my Sam alive
I have only known Sam one full day
But he's changed my life, I'd have to say
I'll never look at life the same way

Sunday, June 6, 2010

The Great Kauffman Stadium!

The lights, the fountains, the roar of the crowd, the lump in your throat, and total bliss that is Kauffman Stadium. Home of the Kansas City Royals!! Last night was the greatest night for me, my first ever Major League Baseball game. It couldn't have been any better, unless of course they had won, and I hadn't gotten a Sierra Mist to drink. The Kansas City Royals vs. The Detroit Tigers. Last night the players were great They just got a little behind their game. The outfeilder Scott Posednick, the catcher Jason Kendall, David Dejesus, and several others were outstanding. The feild was great the Stadium was incredible, the experience was unforgetable. It was truly a once in a lifetime event that will change my life, no doubt.

Once you go Royals you never go back. They have a really great thing going, a terrific feild, a talented team, and very loyal fans. I think they are aware that to many people they are the greatest team on dirt. Honestly I don't give a hoot about any other team in the league. Kansas City just means something to me and the Royals will always be the team I root for in the bleachers or on ESPN, because of last night, my very first stadim experiance.

Believe it or not, Kauffman Staduim is in the Top Ten Stadiums for fan appeal. They are at number 9 on that chart, but they will always be Number One for me. Let me say one thing that I know will always be true, I am a Loyal Royal...who else is with me?