Sunday, June 13, 2010

A Girl in Nebraska Wants to Die...

In times like these you have to ask yourself a question. Out of all the millions of people in the world, why the hell me??? Why was I chosen to live a life I hate? Why must I go on living day after horrible day, just to get kicked in the face once again? No one knows the answer to those questions, and I am no exception. I don't even know why I bother get up in the morning. Well other than the fact that I would be murdered in cold blood if I didn't. It just seems that my life is pointless, and I am worthless. Hey, that sounds familiar, maybe its because I am often referred to as the Worthless kid around my house. This childish name calling game can go on and on forever, all the stupid names I have been called. The one time I will never forget my dad said I was the worst kid he ever raised. Those names sink in and after hearing them for years, you start to believe it. Now when have been well behaved and a "good little girl" now he lashes out at me for something I am not even responsible for. Its not fair. My mom always says life's not fair. There is a fine line between that and going out of your way to make it unfair. So if i shot someone right now and the cops were after me I could say Life's not fair and they would just leave me alone. I don't think so. It's one thing if you want to go outside and play, but your parents wont let you because it is raining and you whine and complain because its not fair. But I have been volunteering to feed my brothers turkeys and take care of them. He never asked me to do it, I am not getting paid, yet I keep getting yelled at because they aren't clean. I have done all the laundry and dishes, kept the house clean, made supper every night, and picked and froze strawberries, beside taking care of the turkeys. This isn't fair he can't treat me like a slave, I am his daughter. Am I that pathetic to just be used? Am I so worthless that I have to be made a servant. I know my father is ashamed of me, because I am not good enough for him, but does he have to yell in my face. Somedays I just want to die. I could cry, and yell my story to the whole world and no one would even care. I bet every single person who reads this (if anyone does) wont respond. Because no one even cares, they dont know me, Who does? Oh no girl in Nebraska wants to die, Oh well. let her.

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