Saturday, July 31, 2010

Confessions of a Teenage (insert descriptive word)

I know the title says I'm a romantic, which is of course true. However, that is not the only thing I am. I am also a procrastinator. I always put things off until the last minute. I am famous for starting things I never finish. I have tried to write a half a dozen books since I was in 6th grade. The furthest I have gotten was like 2 chapters. Then I lose interest, and sometimes I just don't know where to go, or what to write. With short poems, and songs I can finish my thoughts up. It's the same way with running; I am no distance runner. I am good at short, fast sprints, but when it comes to the mile...epic failure. No lie, I would crash and burn before I got halfway to the finish line, which is part of the reason I don't do competitive sports. I like playing volleyball, but the practice is not worth the playing time.

I also (as you can see) get caught chasing rabbit trails. I started out talking about procrastinating, and end up talking about volleyball. I do this with all sorts of things, and I tend to get a little off subject sometimes. Talking to people online I have also learned something about myself. I talk a lot more then everyone else. In person I hardly talk at all, but typing is just different. One word conversations just don't fly with me. Its like an invisible silence is in the chat, and I must fill the void with as many words as fast as I can. That way the silence doesn't become a black hole and sucks us into it, and we are never seen again. Very few people accept that, and those that do are probably my best friends. Funny thing, that most the chatty girls in person, are the one word repliers with texting or chat. I am the shy one in public, but I can type a lot in a chat.

Lastly, I am a little too self critical. I see my work and I think it sucks. No matter what it is, a poem, a cover, or just my appearance in general. My friends spend half of their time trying to convince me that, I am not as lousy as I feel. I am most definitely, not as good as they think I am. They are a little biased I think, and as a rule, you can't be too critical to a friend. The goal of friendship is to accept everyone just they way they are. But for a change, I want someone to rip my work apart, and tell me what I can improve on. I know I will never be a great writer, but I want to be the best I can be, in everything I do.

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