Ahhh! there is finally a sense of security, of safety in my heart. I found out what I wanted, I went after it, and I got it. I won the heart of Scott Hanson. I am the happiest girl in the world tonight. It started yesterday when we started talking. We became best friends, then pals, then we decided this morning to fake date, to piss off his ex. But I loved him, and we told each other how we felt. I told him I was falling for him, and he was falling for me. Well, after talking all day yesterday, and all day today, we are in love. I hate the fact that he lives so far away, its over 1500 miles, but we are connected at heart. He has been gone a couple hours, and I miss him so much. I know I sound like just another naive, lovestruck child, but I have known Scott a long time, and he let me in on parts of his life that no one has ever known. He told me the heart wrenching tale of his parents, and nothing in this world has touched me that way before. I cried for a boy I have never even met before. He is a gentleman, but he can be a bad boy. Its the perfect combination for me. If only he lived closer, then we could date for real.
Scott is so much different than any guy I have ever met. He is the only guy online I have ever prayed for. I have no idea why, but Scott was different then anyone else, he was always different. He is the only guy I have ever said " I love you" to, or said it was ok if he kissed me. Because, Scott is different, he opened up to me, and he taught me a very valuable lesson, that life isn't so hard. He is a constant reminder that, no matter what I go through I can make it, because he did. In his pictures his eyes look so sad. I wish I could kiss them and erase all the pain in them. I want to kiss the frown off his face. I hope someday I will see him smile. He admitted to me, that he is bald right now because of his surgery. I think he thought I would reject him, but it honestly doesn't bother me. Hair grows back, and I cant be there to see him anyway. I just wish I could. Right now I would do anything to be with him, and that is the full truth.