Sunday, September 19, 2010

Fantasy Is Better Than Reality...(unless your living in a dream)

Yeah, so I haven't blogged in a really long time. And I guess its time to get off my duff and write. I really have nothing interesting to talk about or anything witty to say and its 7:00 in the morning give me a break. Well as for things with Scott, they are great. We had a few shaky times, when things didn't look too promising but,
everything turned out in the end, and now we are better than ever. I got to talk to him for a while yesterday, and he'd been sick for a while. In the few days when he wasn't online I was under a lot of pressure, and yeah those days sucked. I really learned just how much I need him when
he's not there. So, yeah I'm just waiting for him to get
online so we can talk again, but in all honesty I really want to actually meet him. I know this whole affair sounds crazy to a person with half a brain, but I really am hopelessly in love with him. This is a huge risk, I know. He could be lying, but I believe in my heart the things he tells me. My friend keeps trying to reason with me, but at this point I am beyond that. I have permanently shut off my brain and am solely living from what my heart is telling me. So far, my heart has been right on the money. Scott is and always will be the sweetest boy alive in my heart. I dream about him and my arms reach out involuntarily for him, but of course I wake up and he's not there. Then reality sinks in, that he's a thousand miles away. Some days its best to not even get out of bed, my dreams are so much better than real life. But no matter what happens, I will never stop caring about him. The first love is the last you'll forget and I never intend to forget him. Its crazy that my first relationship was long distance. Its crazy how far away he is. Its crazy how much I care for someone I've never met. Its crazy how in love we are. Yeah, in a nutshell...Its fricken crazy.

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