Sunday, October 24, 2010

We Live; We Learn; We Crash; We Burn

So, Its been a while since I have posted anything. I have had a lot of issues going on lately. With parents and school, it has been crazy. Last week I was completely swamped and Homecoming was shortly before that. Things with me and Scott are pretty good, and tonight I heard his voice for the first time. It was just one word, one simple little "hello" on a voice recording, but I have already fallen in love with it. I am dying to hear more of it soon. My laptop broke; I just got it fixed and its finally back to me.I have a speech to do on Tuesday, and I have to read to the little second graders, too. I just have a lot going on, and I can't write much other than the fact that, I'm in big trouble if I get caught on my laptop right now.

I'm walking on thin ice with my parents, and I really don't want to piss them off any more. I have sat through hours of lectures this weekend. I don't really know how much more I could have taken. Luckily, my brother came home, and the rents don't really like to lecture with him around. I don't know why that is. It feels like I have had a bit too much adrenaline lately. I'm all strung up and ready to crash soon. I guess Scott is right, I have been sneaking around a lot lately. But for him, I would do anything. I am not complaining, I would rather sneak around all the time, then never get to talk to him. He is totally worth any trouble I get in. My parents don't want me to fall in love with someone I don't know. I know Scott, and I know he would never hurt me, and that is good enough for me. He doesn't have to be a superhero, he just has to be himself and I will be satisfied. Well that's all for tonight. I'm ready to crash and burn.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Sometimes The Hardest Situations Teach The Most Valuable Lesson...

Well, in a little over 12 hours I will be 16 years old. Yeah, still pretty young, but in love anyway. It was a hard weekend.  Scott and I had a few fights, and I have never cried so much (but of course I was also reading the Last Song).Yet, I have learned from the mistakes we both made. First, I learned that sometimes I need to button my lip and at times listen to my heart not my head. Scott has a funny way of putting it: my mouth writes checks my butt can't cash. He was a little harsh but I deserved it, he doesn't sugar coat things. That is part of why I love him, because like a true friend, hes not afraid to tell me when I messed up, or that I am wrong. Some girls may be offended by this, but I understand where he is coming from and that the criticism is good for me.I know I have never been one to hold my tongue, and especially with him.I don't know what it is about him, but usually I bottle up my feelings, with him I spill my guts every time.

The second thing I learned from all of this is that I can't live without him. Just the thought of him leaving me, just kills me. I hate whenever he is in pain, and knowing I caused some of that plus promising him I would never hurt him, makes me hate myself. These fights were on Saturday, so its been a few days now, but it still hurts me to know that I caused him pain. Now, he has more or less forgiven me, and I am starting to forgive myself and things are getting back to normal. Today he went in for skin cancer surgery, he is alright now just a little sore I would like to thank my friend Anya for helping me pray for him. She's one of the few people in the world that comes close to understanding just how deep my feelings are for him. We haven't quite been dating two months and I already know I could spend a lifetime in his arms. Call me crazy, and I will admit I am crazy...for him! . Lesson of the day: Next time you are upset by something you think someone is doing, Stop and think. Is it really worth getting in a fight over? and Is that person someone you want to lose? If the answers are both no, then bite back the words you were going to say, and just let them explain before you fly off the handle.Well, that's all for now. Goodnight All!!