Monday, February 21, 2011

The good lord giveth and the good lord taketh away.

Dear God,
I lost a really good friend last Thursday. Mike was like a grandfather to everyone. He will be missed so much. The funeral is tomorrow and I am still sad. Please give me the strength to make it through the next few days, and the courage to face everyone. I just don't know. Please watch over Mike's family. I have known them all for years, they are good people that I am sure are grief-stricken. Help my friend, She hurts so deeply when anyone passes away. She needs a guiding hand to help her through these troubles. Somedays she is all I have.I have been worried about School, and this person that I love so much. Who am I kidding? I am in love with my ex still, I worry about him I don't know what to do. Help me to find a constructive way to demonstrate my feelings without taking things too far. I need you to tell me the words to tell Scott. How to comfort him, how to help him heal.  Things get too hard at school lately, and I dont want to be there anymore. This poem reflects how I feel at school and the things I have been through there.


I Swear…

 “Freak!”
One word
Spat distastefully from someone’s mouth
Like projectile vomit.
It is hissed again in my ear
Echoing, stinging, I can feel it.
It burns a hole.
I sit numb, staring into the window;
Staring into space.
Ignoring the occasional flick to the back of my head
I grip the cords of my MP3 player.
Adjusting  the buds in my ears
The music blasts through my head
Like a cold gust of wind.
I can’t avoid them
The words are thrown at me like darts.
I pick up what’s left of my dignity
Polish it on the sleeve of my T-shirt.
Heat spreads across my face
Anger coursing through my veins
I walk away
Try to be the bigger person.
It does no good.
They come after me, an angry swarm of bees.
Insults hurled at me
Whispered ridicules as I pass in the hallway
Curious stares, hate drenched glares.
There is no escaping them
I want to melt into a puddle
So they can’t hurt me anymore
I wish I was invisible
A shadow on the wall
But that’s impossible
I want to curl up in the fetal position
But that would be letting them get the best of me
Instead I stand straight
Comfort comes from somewhere above
A loving hand guides me through the crowd
I will not cry; I have hope.
My faith will make me strong
They won’t bring me down today
I swear.


I know I am just one person down here on earth, but please dont forget about me.
Show me the way to your kingdom, so I can help others find the path as well.Love,
Angie

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