Saturday, April 7, 2012

Are YOU Forever Alone? Find Out Now!

Hey blog stalkers. Long time no see.
Well I am thinking about started a new Youtube vlog and/or blog on here. I just recently got this idea and perhaps you might have some ideas.

Have you ever seen those different trolls online and likened yourself to one of them? Especially the forever alone one? Well I have news for you. If you want to know if you are forever alone, you just might be able to "tune in" to a series of blogs/vlogs in which I will advice and tutor you in the art of being Forever Alone. For starters, if you think you are indeed forever alone these ten simple questions may help clear things up.

If you answer yes to any of the following questions you may be suffering from a common condition of Forever Aloneness. Don't worry it's not typically contagious.

1. Did you last have a date when Clinton was president?
2. Are you over the age of 25 and still live in your parent's basement?
3. Do you wake up in the morning to the sound of your cat beating its head against the wall?
4. Guys: Do you tell your sammich to "Go make you a woman?"
5. Girls: Do you go to weekly couples therapy with your cat because "He just won't listen?"
6. Did you make your own birthday cake and sing to yourself on your half-birthday?
7. Girls: Do you buy yourself flowers and then pretend to be shocked when they arrive?
8. Did you ask your cousin to the high school prom and they turned you down for a paid male escort?
9. Do you save old voicemails from your mother and play them when you get lonely?
10. Can you count the number of times you've been flirted with on one hand?
11. Did you create a separate facebook account just so you could write "I love you" on your wall?

If you have any of these symptoms please find a boyfriend/girlfriend as soon as possible before your condition beigns to worsen. And if that that is no longer possible then be sure to check back here for later updates and links to my Youtube account. There is a way to beat this and I will be your unpaid therapist.

-Dr. Angalone F.A.

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