Saturday, May 18, 2013

Just Heartfelt Thoughts

Has anyone else had one of those moments in their life when suddenly something was perfectly clear? Where you thought one thing one minute and the next a whole new world opened to you. I always had the image of what a real man was; tough, strong, stoic, and never showing emotion. And don't get me wrong those things are good in moderation in certain situations. But truly a real man is not afraid to show his feelings sometimes.

You see Blogger Boy is in pain and though I'm not sure why yet, I didn't get a chance to talk to him, it put things into perspective. Earlier today I was crying over Kleenex Boy, (mostly because the tears made my pinkeyed eye feel better.) and then when I saw his status on Facebook about being hurt, I immediately wanted to reach out in comfort and encouragement. It pulled on my heartstrings like you wouldn't mean, I mean thats probably just a knee-jerk reaction for me. But suddenly there was this crystal clear moment where its like a light bulb went on in my head and I was like, "Wow, I really love this man." Its more than just a friendship, I mean I don't want to jump the gun. I fell too hard and too fast for Kleenex Boy, and I dont want to get hurt again. Blogger Boy is really something special though.

Kleenex Boy once told me that he didn't like being taken care of, because he wasn't used to it. I have a feeling Blogger Boy would. Even if it was just holding him when he sad, or caring for him when he's sick. I'd want to be there, I want to heal his wounds and laugh with him. I think maybe I'm finally ready to let the past be the past and move on. I dont need to run to Kleenex Boy every time I need a tissue to cry into, I mean I dont even need to cry to Blogger Boy. I'm stronger now. But even so, I'll be there when he needs me, as he's been there when I needed him.

So Blogger Boy if you're reading this, I really love you. When I look up at the stars tonight, I'll send a little prayer heavenward that the next year and a half goes by quickly so we can stargaze together. I hope I can ease your pain somewhat, I don't like seeing you hurt.Take care of yourself, big guy. I'll always be here for you. Always.

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