Saturday, May 25, 2013

Just Pessimistic Rantings and Fluffed-up Blankets

Ever had one of those days where you see somebody and you instantly don't like them. The more you're around them the more you just want to punch them in the head. Finally, they annoy you so much, you just pull back your fist and let them have it, never minding the shards of glass that now protrude from your bleeding knuckles. That's right. It was just a mirror. Not only are you the biggest loon on the face of the earth for punching a piece of glass, but you also realize You really don't like yourself. Welcome to my world.

I hate life and I hate being stuck in this town. Her Royal Fatness wants me to move in. And believe me, I'd love living with my best friend. It's just I need to have a job in order to pay her mom rent. I can't just live in her family. Not only would I hate myself for taking advantage of her mom, but my own parents would probably hate me just as much or even more. Plus finding a job in that little town would be so hard.

Nothing has gone right in my life in the past two weeks. If I hadn't screwed up things with Kleenex Boy I'd be in the city with him right now. Well...not with him, per se. He'd still probably end up with her and I'd be alone. Alone in the city vs. Alone in the middle of nowhere But I have family and friends around? Alright, alright. It's better this way. Plus losing him wouldn't have gotten me as close to Blogger Boy as I am. And that was a good thing indeed. Its just hard to change and move on. Having pinkeye for two weeks doesn't make you the most optimistic person in the world either. The way the world looks now I'll die alone in my parents basement with a hundred cats and I'll probably still have this damned pinkeye.

Its just a lashing out kind of night. I should be more of a fighter, more of a stronger person, but its nights like this when I hate being alone. This bed wasn't made for just one person, I guess I'll just fluff up the blankets and pretend there's someone here with me to make it all better. Or I could just face the fact that I'm alone and deal with it like a grownup. Fluffed up blankets it is. Oh and Blogger Boy, if you're reading this. I really miss you, signore, I hope you're back soon.

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