Monday, May 13, 2013

Oh Those Awkward Moments

That awkward moment when you realize how utterly alone you are for the first time. There's no one coming to save you from your own foolish life. You can't return to the people in your past, because you've burned too many bridges. You're too afraid to face those in your future, afraid of getting hurt again. Stuck between two people, one you won't even see for two years and the other you'll probably never see again.

That awkward moment when you've graduated high school, but you have no job, no life, no friends and you still live with your parents. You tweet retarded crap and you blog just to keep your mind sane. You get lectured everyday about life and how you're going nowhere. You're sitting in a room begging with your weary brain to find some task for you to do, if only to keep yourself from crying. You find yourself messaging a previous love, just to pass the time and try to fix damage that cannot be repaired.

That awkward moment when you're at the end of your rope. You have zero confidence in yourself and you envy every living thing but yourself.You fear you've lost the better half of your sanity, feel sorry for yourself then subsequently hate yourself for it.You wish you hadn't given up your dream, then remember, just like everything else about you, you're dream was tainted too. Is there future, is there hope? None. You tell yourself.

That awkward moment when everyone who ever spoke of your so-called "bright future" was a liar. They said these things merely to win favor and raise spirits.You're future really is dimmer than a smoky bar on a Saturday night, for the world doesn't need more creatives like you. Technical, left-brain thinkers are all that's needed in today's world. There's no room for writers, dreamers and artists; they starve these days. The strong feed off the weak. And you're about as strong as a fawn. This world will tear you up and spit you out.

That awkward moment when you realize you're a bitter pessimist at the ripe old age of 18. Congratulations.

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